Aggression

The older Jeremiah gets the bigger and stronger he gets! The only problem is, is that his aggression and anger issues due to the lack of communication and social skills are increasingly growing with him. His frustration level is higher and his focusing has lessened.

Just to sit down and doing a tracing activity which isn't difficult nor a new concept, however, becomes his ultimate breakdown and hinders any activity beyond simplicity or basic. There are some days where you can't initiate any new concept or problem for fear of negative response. Some days, he'll do pages upon pages of any activity. Who knows what day it will be like, and it's in the unknown that I am writing. It causes me much grief that he may never be able to adjust and recorrect this behavior. It is troublesome that the state of Idaho puts a 3-year cap on IBI services. Who says autism and the behaviors associated therein ends in three years?

Unfortunately, this type of cap was administered by the State and regulated by Health and Welfare's interpretation. They don't live with the fear of an outrage and possibly violent behavior undetermined by specialists. I have been hit, kicked, punched, pinched, spat at, head-banged, bitten, scream and yelled at, and most of the time he doesn't understand he's doing it or the consequences thereof. The other day I held him for 15 minutes because he was so full of anger toward his brother that if I let go of him he would have attacked me or him. Thankfully, my father showed up unannouced and held him so that I could walk away from the situation. I was so exhausted because it used up every ounce of energy I had to protect him, I became an emotional wreck. I literally couldn't stand, I was sick to my stomach and I feared what could've happened.

Thankfully, this time, things calmed down. One of these days, because of the Health and Welfare's decision, my child might be hog-tied or restrained in such a way by authorities that it will only hurt his progress and make matters worse just because the lack of understanding. Or.....Brutal enough, someone somewhere is going to misinterpret mine or my husbands handling of the situation and call us into CP. I am trying to be patient, but my heart aches for my son who desperately wants to achieve "normalcy". We can only do so much, thankfully God is on our side, but I wouldn't want to be in the shoes of those who don't believe.

There's got to be another way to reach those in power to change the course of our son's life, but who or how? Please, I beg of you, keep praying for our sons, their behaviors and our family in general, it's hard to live this way! Also, keep in mind those who are afraid to voice their concerns but live in my world day-to-day.